Eulogy for Unusual Pets
The next time you mention your dog,
I'll be the one that says "I coudn't live in the same house as one."
I'll be the one to say "That's disgusting."
I'll be the one to use the words "vermin," "nasty," "horrible."
And I'll laugh at you when you use the word "cute."The next time you mention your cat,
I'll be the one that screams.
I'll be the one to shudder, gag, and make faces.
I'll be the one to reply "Oh, I kill those."
And I'll describe how in graphic detail.The next time you mention your goldfish,
I'll be the one to have a phobia.
I'll be the one to describe diseases I've heard you could catch.
I'll be the one to bring up horror films
And I'll say it should be in the zoo.AND
The next time your dog dies,
I'll be the one to ask if you flushed him down the toilet.
I'll be the one to suggest taxidermy.
I'll be the one to say "good riddance."
And I'll mock you for being so attached.
I would like to thank everyone who expressed their sympathy
on the death of my green iguana in August 2002
or on the death of any of my rats...
and I would like to remind the other 3/4 of those I had conversations with
of all the things I am too polite to do.
(c) Cathy Covington 2003